It starts with a word that shuts you up.
Any word, like a key, to unlock all your insecurities.
One word triggers another until a ripple becomes a river,
and self-doubt takes you over.
As the noise in your head grows louder,
your true voice grows softer
What’s in your head?
The words of your mother,
the memory of her zipping your prom gown
while her words dress you down
with the pretense that being beautiful
is equal to being thin or slender.
How you wish there was a human cookie cutter,
just for you to have that body that is acceptable for her.
What’s in your head?
The words of your best friend.
On the day of your first date,
you finally had the courage to dress up, and wear make-up
Wanting to feel pretty even just for a night.
You ask your best friend, “Do I look alright?”
He laughs and say “What did you do to your face?” “You still look like a man.” He said as he gazed.
He laughed at you. And you still hear it ’til this day. The snicker, the laughter, the humor that is your face.
Your fat, your flab, your body that is a disgrace.
What’s in your head?
The words of your lover.
That day when you were starting to build confidence in how you look and carry yourself.
From the clothes you wear to the way you fix your hair,
you start to see how pretty you can actually be.
Over a cup of coffee, you talk to him with glee about how you’ll buy clothes that he’ll like and look better at the same time.
He sighs and says to you that you have no sense of style.
You try to halt the tears from falling, but in doing so, you fall completely silent.
The cafe was quiet but the voices in your head grow louder.
You go back to your shell surrounded by self-doubt.
Playing and repeating the words from his mouth.
The reality of anxiety, a never ending loop of words of animosity,
coming from our friends, family, and lovers.
The words of those who matter, in our heads playing over and over.
Stupid Fat Ugly Weak Crybaby
Stupid Fat Ugly Weak Crybaby
Stupid Fat Ugly Weak Crybaby
Stupid Fat Ugly Weak Crybaby
Stupid Fat Ugly Weak Crybaby
Do you know how anxiety works?
It starts with a word that shuts you up
And it ends with you not being good enough.
